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Managing Estrangement from Adult Children
If you are a parent of an adult child who has cut off contact with you, you are not alone. Many parents struggle with this painful and confusing situation, wondering what they did wrong and how they can fix it.
You may feel angry, hurt, guilty, ashamed, or hopeless. You may miss your child terribly and long for reconciliation.
However, before you can reconnect with your child, you need to try to understand why they alienated from you in the first place. This may require some honest self-reflection and empathy.
Why Do Adult Children Estrange from Their Parents?
Every family is different, and every child has their reasons. However, some common themes that emerge from research and personal stories are:
Abuse or neglect
Some adult children have experienced physical, emotional, sexual, or verbal abuse or neglect from their parents, either in childhood or adulthood. They may feel unsafe, traumatized, or resentful towards their parents and choose to protect themselves by cutting off contact.
Conflict or criticism
Others have had frequent arguments or disagreements with their parents over various issues, such as lifestyle choices, values, beliefs, relationships, finances, or parenting styles. They may…
